Jail Buddies
by LonelyAquarian
Summary: April's accidental littering at the Grand Canyon ultimately sends her and Jackson to jail, which surprisingly April grows a liking to, but Jackson hates. This causes some conflict when they get the chance to escape.
1. The Grand Canyon

"Did you know it's 277 Miles long, and over a mile deep? I mean, in places. It's not a mile deep everywhere. Although that looks like a mile." Maggie says as she points to a random part of the Grand Canyon. Jackson and April simply look at each other, bored with Maggie's commentary. "Did you know recent evident suggests the Colorado River formed the canyon over-"

"Maybe they have earplugs in the gift shop." Jackson says as they walk away from Maggie.

"Ooh! Mini license plates!" April exclaims as they enter the gift shop. She runs up to the display. "Alice, Kimmie, Libby, Karen, Miranda, Arizona, Ellen, Justin, Patrick, Sandra, Jackson….." She goes on and on until there aren't anymore plates.

 _"_ _1,001 Grand Canyon_ _jokes."_ Jackson read of the book cover. "Hmph, That's about 1,000 more than I thought there were. Let me see what they have to offer." He says as he opens the book.

"UGH! This is total bullshit!" April exclaims angrily.

"What's the matter, April?"

"They literally have every name here but mine! Why in the hell would they have Cyrus and not April?!" She questions. "That sounds like an evil man who's out for power!" April continues, unaware that a guy is standing behind her, giving her a glare when she goes on her rant about the name Cyrus.

"Take it easy, April. We'll just have to make one from scratch or search online for one." Jackson says.

"Sorry about my rant, sir. I actually don't think Cyrus is a bad name. I think it's powerful." April says to the guy who was glaring at her.

"Thank you." He says as he turns to walk away from her.

"That was embarrassing." She says as she walks up to the counter with Jackson.

"Just the book." He tells the clerk.

"And a bottle of Snapple." She says as she grabs a bottle from the fridge. "I'll give you your money when we get back to the car."

"It's not a problem, April. Save your money. I got this." He says as he pulls out his wallet.

"Jack-"

"I got this." He repeats as he gives the clerk some cash.

"You're awesome." She says as they finish up their transaction.

"I know." He says as they are dreading going back to Maggie.

"Thanks for the Snapple." She says, handing him the bottle for.

"No problem." He says as they walk out of the store as he takes a drink from the bottle.

"-was originally inhabited by Native Americans, some of whom may have considered the Grand Canyon to be a holy site. So, what do you think?" Maggie asks them. She is unaware that they had momentarily left her alone.

"I've seen better." April says as Jackson hands her the bottle. "Let's go see a movie or go to a restaurant. I'm starving." She states as she drains her drink and throws her bottle over the edge of the barrier, completely missing the trash can.

Suddenly, a guy walks up to her.

"Mam, you threw a bottle into the Grand Canyon. That's littering on federal property." A man tells her.

"And I am truly sorry for that, officer!" April tells him.

"Officer? I'm a park ranger." He corrects her in a condescending tone. "And you are?"

"April Kepner." She says, scared out of her mind.

"You're coming with me." He says as he puts handcuffs on her.

"Wait, let's be reasonable!" Maggie says. "We can be reasonable, right?"

"Lady, if you don't be quiet, I'm bringing you along too for being an accessory to the crime."

"I saw some accessories at the gift shop." Jackson tells Maggie, who misinterprets the current conversation due to reading his book.

"What if I paid a fine?" April asks the ranger. "I'll pay you whatever you want! Wait, my money is in the car! Jackson, pay the guy whatever he wants!" She yells out as she is being hauled away by the ranger.

"Jackson, aren't you gonna do something?!" A panicking Maggie asks him.

"My friend in Nairobi is awesome; he's like a Wonder of the World. We call him the **_Grand Kenyan_**."

Maggie simply stares at him.

"Well? If you don't like that one, I got 1,000 more." Jackson says as he closed his book and went to help April out of her predicament.

Maggie watches him walk away from her, in total confusion.


	2. Court

"-and that's when I saw her throw this empty bottle of Snapple into the Grand Canyon." The Ranger tells the courtroom patrons as he lifts a zip-lock bag, filled with the bottle.

"Well, it's clear that you are the litterer, Ms. Kemper." The judge says.

"That's Kepner, your honor." Jackson corrects her.

"Quiet, or I'll have you held over for contempt of court!" The judge barks at him. "The fine is $50, Ms. Penerk. This court is now adjourned." She says banging her gavel.

"Your honor, this is a case built on lies, stacked on a house of cards standing on a Mountain of fabricated falsehoods. I move for immediate dismissal. I didn't deliberately litter on purpose, so I refuse to acknowledge the verdict." April says.

"You can't do that." The judge snorts.

"Well, then I'd like to call my first witness." April says. "Maggie Pierce."

 _'This is too much! Who is she and what has she done with my April?'_ Jackson wonders as Maggie walks to the bench.

"Would you please state your name for the court?" April asks.

"M-my n-n-name is-is M-m-m-Maggie P-pierce." Maggie stammers out.

"What's the matter? Are you nervous?" April asks.

"I'm not n-n-nervous." Maggie says.

"You sure sound nervous."

"This is what I always sound when I-"

"Maybe you're nervous because you're lying." April says.

"But I'm not-"

"-maybe you're lying because you don't want us to know your true identity and who you are to Jackson and I." April interrupts.

The judge rolls her eyes.

"My-"

"- and the reason you don't want us to know your true identity is because you, _Ms. Thing_ , knows that I am **_NOT_** the litterer! You know that I'm **_NOT_** the litterer, but you'd rather see me suffer!" April tells her.

"What is going on here?" The judge asks herself as the fan squeaks.

"And a collective gasp fills the courtroom." April gasps.

"Are we done here?" Maggie says as she starts to walks away from the bench.

"Are you even associated with Renker?" The judge asks Maggie.

"I-" Maggie starts, but she flees from the bench quickly.

"Where's the nearest gift shop?" She asks the bailiff. He simply points out the window.

"You, Pretty Eyes. Approach the bench." The judge says.

Jackson walked up to the bench.

"Take it from here, Ms. Pinker." The judge says.

Jackson rolls his eyes and April fights a smile.

"Please state your name for the court." April tells Jackson.

"I am Jackson Avery."

"That is such a beautiful name. Mr. Avery, where were you on the night of November 10th?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. I might have been with my mother, but didn't this happen in the daytime on June first?"

"Aha! And how would you know that if I were so called guilty of this heinous crime? Ladies and gentlemen, I am NOT your litterer." April says.

"Your Honor, can I just pay the fine for April?" He asks the judge.

"Hostile witness!" The judge yells out.

"Oh, you call this hostile? This is not hostile." April says. "If you want hostile, I'll give you hostile."

"Objection!" Jackson says.

"Overruled!" April says back.

"That's what I say!" The judge says.

"What?" They ask the judge.

"Overruled." She responds.

"Sustained." April says.

"Keep this up, and I'll hold you both in contempt of court."

"I sincerely apologize for my friend, your highness." Jackson says.

"Now, if I may. What do we know? The piece of litter in question? An empty bottle of Snapple. So, it would fit that the litterer must like Snapple." April starts. "It may surprise the court to learn that I, Daffy Duck, love Snapple, but wouldn't litter on purpose for any reason."

No one in the court gallery moves or says anything.

"Is anyone even listening here?" April asks irritably. "The point is, I can't possibly be the litterer, because I don't like to make our beautiful landmark ugly at all. And if the Snapple is unopened by the end of three minutes, you must acquit." She says as the bailiff hands her a new bottle of Snapple.

April tries to open the cap of the bottle in vain, but she fails.

Jackson tries to open the bottle too, and he fails.

As April traps the bottle against the bench, the bottle breaks.

"You broke the bottle!" Jackson says.

"I know that! I didn't do it on purpose! Why in the hell did we get a glass bottle in the first place?"

"Why did you even tap it on the bench?"

"Oh, like you could get it open, Jackman?"

"Don't start with me on that bottle, Kepner. It's-"

"Order." The judge says as she bangs her gavel, but April and Jackson are still arguing.

"ORDER!"

They stop arguing.

"You are both annoying and wasting my precious time. You are both held in contempt and will be placed in jail immediately!"

April gulps.

Jackson remains calm.

"Bailiff, take them away." The judge orders.

The bailiff handcuffs both April and Jackson and hauls them away.

A few minutes later, Maggie walks back in.

"What'd I miss?" She asks.


	3. Jail

The camera shutter clicks.

"Name?" The guard says.

"April Kepner." Says a frightened April.

"Turn."

April turns.

The camera shutter clicks.

"Crime?"

"Contempt of court." She tells him.

The camera shutter clicks.

"Name?" Another guard says.

"Jackson Avery." He says happily.

"Turn."

Jackson turns.

The camera shutter clicks.

"Crime?"

"Well, some might say being too good-looking." Jackson replies. As he says this, he gives the camera a toothy grin, a seductive pose, and a pose with two of the guards, with music dance music playing in the background.

"Nah, I'm just kidding. Contempt of court." He says.

* * *

"Thank you." Jackson says as he takes his stripped jail attire from the guard.

"Here." The guard says as he hands April her attire.

"Oh, no! I'm going to be swimming in this." April says. "Do you have a belt, some safety pins or a sash? I'm about to meet a ton of new people, and I'd rather not look like a big, fat zebra or something."

Suddenly, a big, strapped lady that is standing behind her is growling at her.

April turns around.

"See what I mean? That's a lot of stripes. I don't want to look like that." She says as she gestures towards the lady who's still growling and snarling.

"Sorry about her." Jackson tells the lady as he pulls April away. "She's kinda particular about her looks."

"And you aren't pretty boy?" She says. "I could kick both of your asses right here, right now!" She yells after them.

"No, thank you." He says as April is fussing.

* * *

"Not too shabby." April says as they are in their cell. "I mean, it could use some fancy accessories and such- maybe a few pillows or some scented candles."

Jackson groans as the bars to the entire cell grinds and clicks.

"What?" April asks him.

"Leave it to you to think of the bright side." He says as she shrugs.

"I'm thinking this might be a problem." She says as she gestures to the toilet.

"Go to bed, April. I'm gonna hope for freedom." Jackson says as he takes the top bunk.

"Night." She tells him.

"Night, April."

* * *

The next day, April and Jackson are walking down from the cafeteria as they are looking for a table. Once they find a table, they decide to occupy it.

"Eww." Jackson cringes as he takes a good look at the food that's on his platter. He looks back up at April who's saying a little prayer to herself. After she prays, she takes a bite from her food.

"Ehh." She says as she's chewing. "It's a little salty."

"You've gotta be kidding me." Jackson says disbelievingly.

"I got to say, it's a pleasure having somebody cook for me. Nice change." She says.

"This is crazy! How the hell can you be so relaxed? We're in fucking prison! Jail! The big house! We're up the river! We're down the creek! We're 2 picks short of a load! There's no _"I"_ in team! You got to fight for your right to party! This is the highway to hell!" He says, panicking.

The big strapped lady that Jackson pulled April from, appears out of nowhere and sits next to Jackson, grunting.

"Party's over." He says as the lady eats her food.

"What are you scared of? This pretty lady? I bet she's a Teddy bear. Stop freaking out, rich boy." April teases as she turns to the lady.

Jackson is freaking out on the inside.

"I'm April, this is Jackson." She introduces to the lady. "You look like a Callie to me, but I might be wrong as it is just a guess. We're in cell 8-W. Come by anytime you like because I love meeting new people. The door's always open. Well, not technically, but you get the point. Anywho, would you be a dear and please pass me the ketchup?"

The lady simply takes the bottle of ketchup, and she crushes it over April's food with her bare hands.

"Are you serving time for being rude or because you can't follow simple directions?" April challenges with a glare in her eyes.

"Who told you that my name is Callie?" She grunts as she is putting a fist in April's face.

Two guards comes up and pull Callie away from April.

"Problems?" One of the guards say.

"No." Callie says with a fake smile on her face. "None what so ever."

"I need to get out of here. April is gonna have us killed!" Jackson says to himself.

"Ehh, so, let me get this straight. I can insult whomever I please without fear of bodily harm in this place?" April asks the guards.

"Pretty much as long as there is a guard around." Callie says begrudgingly.

I should have gotten thrown in jail years ago. It's a smart Alec's paradise!" April says happily.

* * *

"Say, I like your hair." April says to an inmate as she and Jackson are going back to their cell. "Did you butcher it yourself?"

"I'll butcher you!" He grunts.

"I don't know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt! Better yet, I hope you've got it under warranty." She says to another inmate.

"Oh, I'm going to get you!" The female inmate snarls.

"Hey, buddy, can I borrow your brain? You're obviously not using it in this lovely place." She says as they pass another inmate.

The inmate grunts as he puts his arm through the bar.

April laughs, enjoying the prospects of being locked up.

"You know, I thought I'd be scared of being behind bars, but I think I am starting to love it." She tells Jackson as they reach their cell.

"I thought that I would love it, but I hate this place. We gotta get out of here." Jackson tells her.


	4. Escape

"You got to get me out of here." Jackson tells Maggie as she visits them. "I'm not cut out for this place at all. Look at me-I can't eat, I can't sleep. I am going to die in this place if I don't get out of here soon. You don't know what it's like being cut off from the outside world. What year is it? Who's president? When is the new Spider-Man movie coming out? Where can I get a good burger? Why am I still here?" He rambles.

"Jackson, you should really relax. You've only been in here one day." Maggie tells him over the phone. "You're gonna get out of here soon." She says as she touches the glass window.

"Well, it's been a very hard day. Did you know they have a yard here where you can exercise for free? That's crazy!"

Maggie sighs.

"What?"

"Well, before I go, I made you a cake." She says as she slides the cake to him.

"A cake, huh?" He says, winking at her. He destroys the cake searching for something hidden. "Nothing?! No crowbar, no shiv? No bobby-pins or a pocket knife?! Who the hell brings a cake to a prisoner without putting a means of escape inside? How do you expect us to break out of this place?" He yells at Maggie, who's simply looking at him from the other side of the window.

Suddenly a guard yanks the phone from his hand and grabs him by the collar of his prison suit.

"Mother." Jackson whimpers out.

"Ooh! Where we going now, guard?" April asks him.

* * *

"Phew!" April says as she is wiping her forehead. "Excuse me," She tells the guard. "What's the goal here? I mean, are we building something, or just making rocks into smaller rocks?" She asks him. "And would it be possible for me to switch places with that pituitary case over there?" She asks, pointing at Callie.

Callie growls as she hears her name.

"I burn easily." April says.

"Sorry, but you'll have to pardon my friend." Jackson tells them. "The heat's getting to her. She should be used to this as she's from Ohio."

"But, I'm not used to this. It's too damn hot!" April complains. "And this guy is pretty damn good looking! You look like a Matthew. Can I call you Matthew?"

"Call me anything you like, pretty lady, but I do prefer Matthew." He tells her.

"She's not a hardened criminal like you." Jackson tells Callie. "I mean, I shouldn't assume that a good looking woman like you can be a hardened criminal, but in my defense, you do have a Neanderthal-shaped head, which I normally equate with stupidity- uh, not that you're stupid. I just mean that you look stupid. I don't mean that as an insult. I mean, some people think stupid to mean cool. Like, " _that's a stupid car,_ " " _you've got a stupid apartment_." I should stop talking." Jackson rambles. "I'm just very nervous right now. I tend to ramble when I'm nervous. You know what the word ramble means? You're probably too stupid to know- and here, I mean **_stupid-stupid_** , not _stupid-cool_." He says, as he nervously chuckles.

"Aah!" Callie growls. She breaks the shackles around their ankles that connects her, April, Jackson and a few others are sharing.

"Yes! We're free!" Jackson yells out as he drags April with him.

"Jackson, what are you doing?! Put me down, now!" April says.

They are all grunting as Jackson and April are running away from Callie.

"Ahh!" Callie yells from a distance.

"Get back here!" The guards yell.

Jackson grasps as they come to a cliff.

"There's only one thing to do." April says as she turns to Callie and the others. She puts her hands up and stands in a fighting position. "Teach that bully a thing or-"

"Jump!" Jackson says as he jumps over the cliff.

"Two!" She yells as they are falling over the cliff.


	5. Step One On The Lam

April and Jackson have washed up a shore.

April stirs as she tries to sit up. Her eyes open really wide.

"We're alive?!" She asks happily. "We're alive!"

April's cheers are so loud that Jackson wakes up. He looks around the beach and his eyes bug wide open as well.

"Who the hell cares about that?" He says standing up. "We're free!" He says helping April on her feet. "It's like I have a clean slate, a fresh start! And this time, I'm going to be a little less charitable. I'm gonna sail the Seine river, I'm gonna canoe down the Nile River..."

 _'Ugh.'_ April thinks to herself as she tunes Jackson out.

"I'm gonna fly to Zanzibar and take lots of wine." He says as her tries to run away.

"Ehh, not so fast, Jackson." She says, pulling the chain that's attached to their ankles. Jackson falls on his face. "We have got to turn ourselves in or-"

"Are you crazy?! That Callie woman with the neanderthal-shaped head will kill us! In care you haven't noticed, I am to young to die, April. I have my whole life ahead of me. What about my dreams? What about a good night in my bed or hot showers or decent food? Jail is not for me. My pretty face will not survive in jail, so therefore, I am **DONE** with jail!"

"Well guess what, Jackson? I'm not letting one bad apple ruin prison for me. Whether you like it or not, I'm going back to jail." She tells him.

"Well, you can goo back by yourself. I'm going to live my life on the lam and I will never look back." He says.

As they try to go their separate ways, they both grunt as the chain stops them from making progress and they fall on their faces.

"We got to do something about this. I miss my cell." April says.

"Follow me." Jackson says.

April and Jackson are currently in the gas station restroom, where Jackson is preparing some hair dye.

"I can't believe you stole all that hair dye back at the store. What's even more baffling is the fact that we weren't caught stealing at all." April says.

"It's not my fault that the old man was sleeping." Jackson says. "Now, quite complaining and let me tell you my plan. Step one of life on the lam: Change your appearance." He says as he's finishing up his own hair.

"You and your pretty boy problems." April jokes.

"And if you're going to be attached to me, you're going to change up your hair style as well, too." He says as he starts dying April's hair.

"Stop! What are you doing?!" April demands.

"Don't worry about it." Jackson reassures her.

"Oh! Are you crazy?" She asks him. This goes on for quite sometime until he is finished with her hair. Well! Hello." She greets herself in the mirror. "I never thought that I'd look good with red hair. I love it!"

 _'There's the carefree April I'm used to.'_ Jackson chuckles. _'I love this girl, not the jail-loving-April."_

* * *

Outside at one of the pumps, a policeman is pumping gas into the police cruiser as April and Jackson exit the restroom.

"Be on the lookout for 2 prison escapees- a man by the name of Jackson Avery, about 6'1, bi-racial because of his mocha-colored skin, green eyes, short curly hair and a woman by the name of April Kepner, who is 5'5, brown-eyes, and seems like she's ready to be a parent." The dispatcher says over the radio.

April starts whimpering in happiness. Jackson starts running away from the officer until-

"Not so fast." April tells him, pulling him by the arm. "I have some business to take care of. Cell, here we come!"

"Once we get this chain off, you can turn yourself in all you want. Screw jail." Jackson tells her.

"Oh, I will." April reassures him. "Jail was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. No stress no fights, leaving our live behind and just making the most of life. Just like Mariah Carey sang in that one song, and you're not going to keep me from it."

"No you-" Jackson starts but April walks over the officer, dragging Jackson with her.

"Excuse me, officer." She says to the officer. "I don't mean to bother you, but my name is April Kepner and this is my lovely boyfri-" She stops. "I mean, this is my best friend Jackson Avery, and we're supposed to be in jail."

"You? You're April Kepner?" The officer asks in a bored tone.

"The one and only." She says with a smile on her face.

"And you're Jackson Avery?" He asks.

"I didn't say that. I didn't say that at all." Jackson says with a disdain look on his face.

The cop looks for his rap-sheets and browses through them until he finds April and Jackson's sheets. He stops and stares at them before looking at April and Jackson. The pictures in the sheets are from April and Jackson's mugshots.

"Well? Did you find something? Are we going to back to jail?" April asks.

"I don't see the resemblance." The officer says.

"Well, then, Officer-" She stop and stares at his name tag. "Karev, how do you explain this chain? Wouldn't you find this suspicious?"

"What you do with your personal lives are your business." He says putting the nozzle back in place.

"But-" April says and Jackson cover's her mouth.

"Stay out of trouble." Officer Karev says as he gets in his patrol car. "And don't forget to use protection!" He shouts as he's driving away from them.

"No! Take me with you!" April yells out. "I'm begging you!"

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Jackson says happily.

"Where are we going?" April asks him once they reached a bus stop about ten minutes later.

"Wherever this will take us." Jackson says as the bus arrives.

"But how are we going to pay for the bus fare?" She wonders.

"I stole the old man's tip jar."

"And we still haven't been picked up yet?!" She asks, clearly annoyed with their situation.


	6. Hotels

"Can I help you?" The receptionist asks them.

"Yes. We'd like a room." April says, sporting a sad face.

"Name?"

"Uh- "

"Are you crazy? You're killing me here!" Jackson tells her. "We can't give away our real names! We're on the lam!"

"I hate being on the lam. It's stupid. Besides, you're the one that wanted to check into the hotel, not me." April reminds him.

"Hush, you!" Jackson says.

"Ahem." The receptionist tells him.

"I'm Charles Percy." He tells the clerk. "And this is Reed Adamson."

"Charles and Reed? I like those names." The clerk says.

"Thanks. This is probably a long shot, but you don't happen to have any chain cutters or acetylene torches back there, do you?"

"No, we don't." The clerk tells him.

"Damn it. Well thank you."

⁂ ⁂

"The motel gift shop may not have had any welding equipment, but the book selection wasn't half-bad." April says.

"Are you serious? How can you read at a time like this, when I am trying to get my beauty sleep?!" Jackson asks distastfully.

"Hush, you!" She says repeating his sentiments from earlier.

⁂ ⁂

"Damn it! Can you keep it down?! I'm trying to sleep!"

"Well, I'm trying to read, and it's not easy with you tossing and turning." April snaps.

"You think I like having to share a bed with you?"

"Yes. Last week, we were going at it like rabbits, and we had lots of fun!" April reminds him. "And let's not forget that you were the one that proposed to me after we went all night long!"

"I hate you right now! I especially hate that we are sharing a bed, but not in the good way because we're chained together."

"At least in prison we weren't chained together. We had a whole cell to enjoy." April says dreamily.

"Oh, will you just shut up?!" Jackson demands.

"Oh, cell block number five!" She says happily.

"Well, you're no picnic, either! You think I enjoy listening to you wax nostalgic about your time in jail? Ha!"

"You are acting like such a bitch!" April snaps at him.

"And by the way, a prison nickname doesn't count if you give it to yourself, dynamite!" He says, uncovering April's fake jail tattoo.

"You better watch it, Princess, because the fuse just got lit." She snaps angrilly, flexing her arm. She imitates a fuse that is about to detonate, and Jackson does the unthinkable.

He spits in his hand.

"What are you doing?" She demands.

He wipes the fake tattoo off of her arm.

April gasps.

"HA!" Jackson gloats.

"How dare you?! No one, and I mean no one, would do something that rude in prison! Now good night, _Charles_." She says turning off the lamp next to her.

"Good night, _Reed_." He says with a smile on his face.

"Checkmate." He says to himself twenty minutes late as she's dead asleep.


	7. Step Two On The Lam

"Step two of life on the lam- get a job." Jackson says.

"And how are we going to do that? Better yet, where?" April asks him.

"The diner over there is hiring. Let's apply." He says as he drags them to the establishment.

⁂ ⁂

"I'm Charles." Jackson tells one of the policemen. "I'll be your waiter."

"And I'm Reed. I'll be your waiter." April greets.

"Awesome. So I'm very hungry and I want something hot. What is the soup of the day?" The customer asks, and the bell over the door dings.

April and Jackson both turn to the door.

"Uh-oh." Jackson says as April's eyes widen with excitement.

"Yay!" She says as she clasps her hands together.

"April, don't!" Jackson warns, but April rushes over to the policemen.

"Officers! How are you today?" April asks happily.

"Ugh, too preppy, Mary Poppins." One of the cops say.

"Sorry about that." April apologizes.

"Cristina is the one that should be apologizing, right?"

"Maybe, Meredith. Maybe."

"-but the soup of the day is a secret." Another customer says to his friend.

"If you say one word to those cops, I promise to make the rest of your life a living nightmare!" Jackson threatens.

"Really? And just how is that any different than now?" April wonders. "I mean you were a pain before, but jail turned you into something that I don't even recognize. I miss the old Jackson."

Jackson simply stares at her.

"Hey, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumb, some service over here?" The Asian officer calls.

"Not a word!" Jackson warns.

"Fine." April says as they make their way to the officers table.

Suddenly an idea pops up into her head.

"Oh, good afternoon, officers." Jackson greets.

"What can I get you?" April says as she hands them a menu.

"What does this say?" One of the officers asks.

"We're on the lam." April whispers.

"You're on the what?" The officer repeats.

"Lam." April whispers.

"Oh, lamb." Cristina says, with joy. "I love lamb!"

"Oh! Is there a lamb special?" Meredith asks.

"No, you bozos! We're on the lam!" April snaps at the officers as she motions at Jackson and herself.

"What's on the lamb?" Meredith asks.

"Oh, I hope it's mint jelly. You know how I love mint on my lamb." Cristina supplies.

"That goes great with lamb, my friend. It's even better with a drink! What do you think our drinks should-"

"No, we're on the lam!" April yells out. "We escaped from jail and we are on the lam!"

"You're on the lam?" Cristina asks. "You look too pristine to be on the lam."

"Are you two on the lam?" Meredith asks.

"No, we're not on the lam. She's just a bit delusional." Jackson laughs

"Oh, thank goodness." Cristina says. "You know you should calm down a bit. Maybe you could put that chain of yours to good use."

April flushes red and Meredith laughs.

"Just give us two veggie burgers and a turkey burger." Cristina says.

"Why three, there are two of us." Meredith says.

"Yes, but they have really good turkey burgers remember?"

"True. Make it two turkey burger." Meredith tells April and Jackson.

"Coming right up." A depressed April says.

"Whew. We got saved."

"I hate your guts." April snaps angrily. "We're never going back to jail at this rate."

"Oh well." Jackson says happily.

⁂ ⁂

"How'd we do?" A mopey April asks.

"We only made 75 cents in tips." Jackson says, completely un-worried about their money situation. "I've got the wrong personality for customer service. I thought I would've exceled at that."

"Well, this just proved you wrong." She says grabbing the three quarters from him. "This, combined with the money you stole from the gas station, isn't enough money for the hotel. Where are we going to sleep?"


	8. Step Three On The Lam

It is late at night and the wind blowing. April shivers as the wind violently blows.

"Here. Have some more newspaper." Jackson says as he offers April two stacks of newspaper.

"Thanks." A blushing April says as she takes the paper from Jackson.

"No problem."

"Damn! That was a mean sardine sandwich." An old lady says loudly as she flushes the toilet.

April and Jackson scrunch their faces while the lady exits the restroom.

The door starts creaking as she leaves the door open.

"So, this is the plan? Sleeping on the roof of a shabby old gas station with some newspaper as our blankets?" An annoyed April tells Jackson.

"Yup." Jackson says happily as he is adjusting the newspaper over his body.

"Nice back-up plan." April says.

"Look on the bright side- at least it can't get any worse." Jackson says as he throws his hands up in the air.

"Really?"

"You shouldn't be so skeptical about this, A. It'll be good. Just you wait." Jackson says optimistically.

Suddenly, thunder claps loudly and it starts to rain.

"Oh no! My hair!" Jackson exclaims.

"Any other bold predictions?" April asks him.

"One day, this country will have plenty of Harry Potter attractions! Just you wait and see!"

"That's already happened, in Florida and in California."

"Maybe we'll have more on day. Would you believe me if I said that I've been practicing to be wizard?"

"Jackson, I mean this with love. YOU ARE DERANGED!" April tells him. "Being on the _'lam'_ has taken a toll on you."

"Has not."

"Oh really? If you were a wizard, you'd do something about this chain." April says showing them the chain that's linked to their ankles.

Jackson positions himself on the raises his hands and points his hands to their ankles.

"What the-" April says but Jackson cuts him off.

"Chain, break!" He says to the chain.

Nothing happens.

April chuckles.

"Chain, break!"

Again, nothing happens and April can't control her laughter.

"And you're laughing at me because...?"

"You may not be a wizard but you sure are entertaining." April laughs hysterically.

"Silence!" Jackson snaps. "You're throwing off my wizard concentration."

"Sorry, _Dumbledore_."

Jackson positions himself and points to the chain with his hands again.

"Chain-"

A thunderbolt hits the chain and the shackles are broken from their ankles.

April gasps at the unexpected moment.

"I am a wizard!" Jackson exclaims happily.

"Oh brother." April says as she rolls her eyes. "That was lightning."

"Ha! Classic non-wizard thing to say. Suck it, babe. Suck it." Jackson says as he rubs his _'powers'_ in April's face. "Now the only question that remains at the moment is, will I be a good wizard or a bad wizard?"

"Pick a side, you cross-town nut."

"Bad wizard! Beware, mortals, for Jackson Avery, the wizard shall rule the world with his woman April Kepner!"

"I will not be a bad wizard like Voldemort, alright Jackson Avery?"

"Did you say Jackson Avery?" A man asks.

"I sure did." April responds.

"I am Jackson Avery, the wizard."

"Yeah, in his head." April supplies.

"Who wants to know?" Jackson asks.

"The police who just came out of the mini-mart."

April squeals and the color of Jackson's face drains.

 _'We're going back to jail.'_ April happily thinks to herself.

 _'Oh no! We're going back to the confines of jail.'_ Jackson thinks to himself, dreadfully.

"You're going back to jail." The police tells them.

April pulls Jackson's arm and the jump off the roof. They land on their feet.

"I thought you'd never find us!" April says as she hugs the police officer.

"So close, yet so far." Jackson groans as the police handcuffs Jackson and April to one handcuff.

"This is Officer Burke. I've got the escapees in my possession." The officer says over the radio.

"Lightning, strike! Lightning, strike!" Jackson says desperately as he's trying to get away from the police, but April isn't having it.

"Jail cell, here we come!" April says happily.


	9. Freedom

A year later, April and Jackson are finally free from detainment.

The doors open.

"No! Don't make me leave!" April wails as she is being escorted off the prison premises by the guards. "Wait, no, wait!"

"You can't stay here anymore." One of the guards tell her as he is pushing her.

"Beat it." The other one says as he is pulling her out of the building.

"Oh!" April exclaims as she is at the threshold of the prison doors.

The police throw April out the door.

They stare at her.

"But tonight's meatloaf Monday!" She yells as the prison doors slam in her face.

April sobs.

"So long, _chainsaw_." Jackson tells one of his cellmates. "Call me when you get out, in 355 years."

"You got it, dude." Chainsaw says.

 _'_ _What a tool.'_ Jackson thinks to himself. He's happy to be out of this hell hole.

"I'm gonna miss you." Chainsaw tells him.

Jackson starts to make his way to the doors, extremely happy.

Suddenly he stops at another cell.

"Take care, _manslaughter_. And look into getting that name changed. I really think it'll make a difference."

"Hmm." Manslaughter ponders deeply.

Finally, Jackson walks up to the infamous prisoner of all.

"And I think I'll miss you most of all, Neanderthal-shaped head Callie." Jackson says with smug look on his face.

Callie stares angrily at Jackson.

"Rawr!" She growls as Jackson walked away from her.

April is sitting in the passenger's side, crying heavily as Maggie is driving April and Jackson home.

"Ah, April," Maggie starts. "You have nothing to worry about so you can stop crying. Look at the bright side of the situation my friend. You're free!"

"But that's why I'm crying!" April sobs.

"Cheer up. With a recidivism rate of 68%, you'll be back in jail in no time."

"I hope so." April says as he's wiping the tears from his eyes.

"What about you, Jackson?" Maggie asks as she looks in her rearview mirror. "Did you learn your lesson?"

"You bet. I'm a changed man. I will never argue with my boyfriend in court ever again." Jackson says. "I'm gonna drink your water, homie."

"Knock yourself out."

Jackson downs the water in less than a minute and without even realizing it, he throws the empty water bottle out of the car window.

Suddenly, the sirens go off.

The police are behind them.

"Oh fuck!" Jackson exclaims.

"Aww, yeah!" April exclaims though her tears.

"Dammit, Jackson! April, will you open the glove compartment and hand me my registration?"


End file.
